Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My Assignment for English: Rewrite Hamlet's 'To Be' Speech

To plagiarize or not to plagiarize- that is the query:
Whether 'tis nobler in the hand to ache
The word and count of tedious assignments, 
Or to pluck thoughts from a harvest of men
And, by pasting, print them. To type, to cry-
No more- and by a cry to say we end
The Spell-check and the thousand Wikipedia searches
That grades are heir to- 'tis a red pen 
Devoutly to be feared. To highlight-to copy
To copy, perchance to create. Ay, there's the catch,
For in that copy of text what creations may come,
Must click print. There's the danger
That makes writing of so long papers,
For who would bear the failing grade and detainment of time
Th' criminal's mistake, the teacher's scorn,
The breath of better writers, the law's wrath,
The oval of office, and the society
That festers delight of th' moral corruptions,
When you yourself might your words inspire
With a lead pencil? Who would words vaporize,
To wake and continue under a midnight moon,
But the dread of deadlines.
The stolen vowels from whose unknown
No dignity returns, deleting the truth
And makes villains of us all,
And thus the delicious nature of writing
Is whited over with the quick copy-paste of lethargy
And evils of great mass and body
With this warning your actions taint you
And lose the name of credibility.- Keep you here,
The fair truth. -size-twelve-Times-New-Roman, in thy beauty
Be all my thoughts mine.

Hilary Clinton Superhero and MTV Red Cup Parties

So last night I went to a party where you had the choice of dressing up as either a superhero or super villain. Naturally I went as Hilary Clinton because she's my flipping hero and everyone knows at night she suits up in a red cape to bring democracy and justice for all (she and her sidekicks go by the name of the super pack). Anyway I wore a black blazer and a cape and arrived to find out one of my failed relationships had come too (so I can relate a lot to Hilary- although she stayed with Bill which I disapprove of no matter how good he is at math). So outside I was chatting with my fellow companions when he walked by. Of course there is a massive bonfire right next to us, which he, in attempt to flee from the awkwardness of us, almost walked in. I guess it's worth burning alive to get away from me. Anyway, sorry to disappoint MTV, but there were no red cups or grind-fests. We raised money for rape victims in places like Sierra Leone and talked about existentialism.
So anyway enjoy the picture I found of Hilary Clinton as a superhero. I wanted to go as Al Gore but I just don't think I could pull off his amount of sex appeal. Oh and currently I am listening to the song "Fidelity" by Regina Spektor (which I guess is a touchy subject for Hilary) and I would recommend listening to her if you haven't because she is amazing. Also listen to "what if you knew" by David Rovics, but caution because you may realize the entire world is just a conspiracy feed by corporate greed and it might leave you curled in a fetal position, silently questioning the goodwill of humanity. Peace.