Waving While Driving and a zdrah-stvooy to Russia

So today I set my alarm so I think I might get to the DMV on time... we'll find out. I was just reading the state driver's manual when I read this-Gestures: If you want to wave to another driver, please use all of your fingers. Obscene gestures have gotten people shot, stabbed and beaten. Oh goodie. As a first time driver I really want to know I have the options of being both shot, stabbed and beaten in case someone thinks I am flipping them off. Also I was looking at the statistics for people who read my blog (I assumed none) and discovered I have quite a following in Russia. So as a tribute to my new comrades (too soon?) I give you a zdrah-stoovy, which I'm pretty sure means hello, but if not please do not shoot, stab, or beat me. Off to take the permit test, wish me good luck.

Secret Societies and Alpaca Flocks

So today I left my house (which is a miracle in itself) to volunteer at a festival-thingy for Leo Club. In case you are not familiar with Leo Club, it's a secret society of assassins that hide in tall meadows and impale unsuspecting individuals who refuse to recycle. We mainly volunteer. Apparently there is some type of hazing process that will involve me being blindfolded and rotated while simultaneously being chanted at (this part is very true). Anyway I got a free t-shirt and got to pet alpacas so it was overall a good day-besides the fact I got sunburned. Anyway I was joking about my permit... I overslept and woke up at the precise time the DMV closes. I deserve an award. Anyway here's a fun fact about alpacas-a group of them is called a flock. So the next time you see a flock of alpacas, remember me.

The Smell of Old Books and Driving Blindfolded

So I Google imaged peanut butter and jellyfish and this is what came up. Maybe I should buy it... then again I'm broke and trying to save for a trip to Ireland this summer (which is pretty freaking awesome). I'm hoping I'll get the job at the library so my work will include deeply inhaling old books. I would like that very much. So I'm off to get my driver's permit today (well either that or fall the test) so I'm trying to study all this bizarre state rules. I just read this blatantly obvious one "If you switch lanes you should look in the direction of the lane you are moving to". Really? Did you think I would just freely glide in and out of lanes with a blindfold on? I'll update all one of my readers if I fail or not.

You Are Lovely- A Poem for a Friend

You are Lovely
The moon rises from the hearth Sifting the relatives from the soot
Prodded coals luminescence the land of lullaby
Sparking the galaxy in my bones
They coax me from underneath the snowy duvet
Calling me compose in the elixir of paper
And incandescent light Abounding each leaf with but three words
You are lovely
You are lovely
You are lovely
Too incompetent to procure a better attribute
I cannot conjure anything else
You are the most lovely
La plus Belle
Las mas Hermosa
Too lovely to be here my dear
You are the best of any friend I have ever made
In our make-believe world of beauty
You are lovely But all you need to be is healthy
I want to break you from your penumbra
Perfection is the nemesis of individuality
We can overcome with our own permission
Our own permissions to accept what is beyond it
We must dwell in Difference
My waist will never be the size of nonexistent
My face will never be a flawless face
My personality will never be anything from awkward
But within my incompetent mind I can still create beauty
You are Lovely
A masterpiece penned by stars
Come home soon
We can smash mirrors together
And flourish in our bad luck

The Wall

The Wall: In the somewhat near future, economic crisis has hit the United States of America and people are suffering from malnourishment and easily treatable illnesses. Overpopulation has turned cities dirty and uninhabitable and the only people with money horde their cash in walled fortresses. A family with a teenage girl and younger boy try to escape the country to find safety in the well off country of Canada. Along the way from a very different New York City, the family meets many others on foot all traveling for a better life. When they reach the many shack cities on the border of the United States and Canada, they see an enormous fence guarded by hundreds of vicious and trigger happy Canadian horse guards. Despite pleading with the offices of migration, the country refuses to allow in any more American refugees and the family finds themselves trying to find ways to cross the border. As stories of failed attempts reach the ears of the family they lose hope until their youngest son falls ill. Unable to pay for the medical care, it becomes increasingly important that they make it across the border. Unable to watch her son die, the mother attempts to cross the border but is killed, after which the father becomes depressed and tries to earn money through the drug trade (quickly becoming an addict). The teenage girl manages to playfully seduce one of the younger red clad border patrols and he begins to leave money in the hollow of a maple tree on the border for her and her brother to make it across. By word of mouth, the girl hears of a group of rogue Canadians who take Americans over the border (for a price) and manages to join them on a journey west where she and her brother cross under a secret tunnel system beneath one of the great lakes. When arriving in Canada, they manage to get to Montreal where the girl works in a flag factory during the day and as a janitor at a corporal building at night so she can pay for her brother’s treatment. When her brother regains health, he attends school and the two live for years in safety. The possibility of becoming legal in Canada is so slim that they keep their American Identity a secret by saying ‘eh’ after every sentence and learning French. When life is finally good, government officials storm their apartment and deport them to a southwest region in the United States, even though the boy had spent the majority of his young life in Canada and the girl was working. The conditions in America have become much worse for the two when they return and find themselves in a land in the midst of a drug war and massive corruption in the government. The two have no choice but to continue walking, attempting once again to attain a better life.

Immortal Jellyfish and Mitt Romney

Today was odd, and I know odd on a very personal level. I wore a tie today because I can... also due to a long serious of events I ended up on the swim team and was required to wear read and black*. (*my mother does not take theater seriously and thinks that I won't get into any colleges unless I do a sport-my reward is a driving permit). Maybe it was the tie that through off the universe, or perhaps that fact that I am consciously making an effort in a physical activity, but my day was just strange. My french teacher complimented my accent and I managed to avoid all the past failed relationships that walk next to me in the hallway* (*will discuss more) and I managed to write three whole pages of a short story during math class without getting caught. Basically the overview of the short story is posted below. Normal America vs. Canada futuristic trauma- it's titled The Wall. It was a bizarrely good Tuesday,which means by the laws of physics, tomorrow will suck. Mondays of course, always suck-they're the most common day for suicide. Did you know that? You do now. So anyway, the title of my blog is basically a reference to my meal of preference (peanut butter anything) and the immortal jellyfish mentioned in one of the vlogbrothers' videos. It's a type of jellyfish that reverts back to its younger stage and literally can live forever. Like this blog. Forever somewhere in the mircocasms of the internet. I'm a bit different in the amount of comedy I find in politics. I love Jon Stewart's Daily Show and the Colbert Report. I find Mitt Romney hilarious in the way he can take a trip to three countries and manage to brutally offend all of them or how he relates to the public by mentioning his wives mini-automobile factory stowed in her garage. Don't get me wrong, I find democrats just as funny. Joe Biden always puts a smile to my face- the time he asked a person in a wheelchair to stand up or the other time he called the president "Barack America", which I find a more fitting name. Anyway, enjoy my overview of my short story.

The Birth of a Blog

It's 7.8 megapixels of pure unadulterated angst, insomnia, and bizarrity that is my life. I would also like to point out that bizarrity is not technically not a word but it very well should be. I know most bloggers have the same sorry-my-life-is-so-busy-I-can-barely-write-to-the-general-public type stance while they sip their Starbucks coffee and stare at rain thinking of metaphors for how insignificant the human race is, but you don't have to worry. I'll continue blogging even if I have only one reader. That's how sad my life is. So I welcome you to read my rambles and comment if you want.